I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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