I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
