my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
