weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
