I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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