My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
