my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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