South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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