"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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