and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
