I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
