she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize