who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
