Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
