I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
