Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
