This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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