Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
