the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
