i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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