Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
