Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
