he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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