I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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