I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Do you still have your period?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
