Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
