so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
