Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
