i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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