I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
