Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
