Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
