the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
im on a boat
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