the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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