they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
