I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
