I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
oh god the rape fog is back!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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