I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
