so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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