That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
