As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Blood and glitter go together right?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
