Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
