question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Michael Bay diarrhea
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
