One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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