Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
