i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
