She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
