Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize