i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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