He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
