I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
