I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
