Welp...herpes.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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