I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
