Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone

Fav 25 6753 1078
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(407): View more from Florida

Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.

Fav 41 1301 6569
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.

Fav 9 1634 7322
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.

Fav 7 3435 1352
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(423): View more from Tennessee

it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.

Fav 25 7842 1336
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(620): View more from Kansas

He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.

Fav 16 4401 1236
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(616): View more from Michigan

I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.

Fav 2 2363 837
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(707): View more from California

One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.

Fav 0 984 567
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(517): View more from Michigan

I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...

Fav 0 143 6
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