haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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