Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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