This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
